Monday, July 11, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Goosebumps!!
After spending half a day in the hospital yesterday,
I don't know whether it's good or bad
But I'm starting to get goosebumps over small matters
I'm afraid...scare that something might happen soon....hmmmm
I don't know whether it's good or bad
But I'm starting to get goosebumps over small matters
I'm afraid...scare that something might happen soon....hmmmm
Monday, May 23, 2011
Impossible??
5 months have past since "it" happened....
I still can't let it go...
Time passes and I'm still holding on to "it"
I don't know whether there is still chance or not...
but I'm still holding on...
with the hope that everything will be back as usual...or better...
I still can't let it go...
Time passes and I'm still holding on to "it"
I don't know whether there is still chance or not...
but I'm still holding on...
with the hope that everything will be back as usual...or better...
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
1st Anniversary!
Yeap~~I've been here (in KL) for approximately a year
I've witnessed lots and lots of stuffs and happenings around me
and found out the huge difference between living in a big city and small towns
YOU HAVE TO SPEND LOTS OF CASH HERE IN KL TO SURVIVE!!! ARGH!!!
anyway, the first half of the year has been a very good, happy and stable moment for me.
getting to know new friends, new environment, new cultures
BUT, everything changes during the 2nd half of the year.
Tons of shits happened, unexpected and expected things happened.
Breakup, lost of confidence, friends departure, shitty job (internship)
I think that wraps up all the things that happened to me for the past one year in KL
Hopefully a better year will come ahead for me....adios amigos~~~~
I've witnessed lots and lots of stuffs and happenings around me
and found out the huge difference between living in a big city and small towns
YOU HAVE TO SPEND LOTS OF CASH HERE IN KL TO SURVIVE!!! ARGH!!!
anyway, the first half of the year has been a very good, happy and stable moment for me.
getting to know new friends, new environment, new cultures
BUT, everything changes during the 2nd half of the year.
Tons of shits happened, unexpected and expected things happened.
Breakup, lost of confidence, friends departure, shitty job (internship)
I think that wraps up all the things that happened to me for the past one year in KL
Hopefully a better year will come ahead for me....adios amigos~~~~
Monday, April 18, 2011
Weird feelings....
I've been very very "out-of-track" for the feelings I had recently....
I'm not sure what feeling it is.....
is something like...."I miss you"....but not "love you" that kind of weird feeling....
I had these feelings towards one girl whom I shouldn't have it........(guilty)
Another case happened few days ago....(two days??)
When I happened to bumped onto my ex in a LRT....
She was coming out and I was going in......
It feels weird....
I felt so wanted to talk to her at that time....but I couldn't....
I admitted that I do miss her la (not that kind of "love" or "like" type of miss)
Maybe she was with that "fella" that time....that's why I don't dare to speak with her....
or maybe she still loathes me for what I did before....weird...
Lastly...is you-know-who......
Last month, I've went back to a place where I acknowledged it as my third home...(1st Perak, 2nd Brunei)
But before that, a day before I went back, out-of-nowhere I bumped into her....(weird feelings again.....)
I went and talked to her...we talked like as if we are very very good friends or friends who haven't met for months....but in fact, we are "not"
Then after that, I went back with my bros.....and I said "I'M HOME K*****!!!"
Then we went yum cha....cc...chit chatting....peeping on girls XP.....
And I've never thought that one of my bro asked her out for bfast...
That really shocked me....I don't even know what to say....I was like "Hi" only...
I couldn't even open my mouth or move any parts of my body in front of her...
weird.....weird....here's the question....is it because that I still loves her, thats why I couldn't speak up......
Or.....Do I loathed her for what she did??......weird.......
I'm not sure what feeling it is.....
is something like...."I miss you"....but not "love you" that kind of weird feeling....
I had these feelings towards one girl whom I shouldn't have it........(guilty)
Another case happened few days ago....(two days??)
When I happened to bumped onto my ex in a LRT....
She was coming out and I was going in......
It feels weird....
I felt so wanted to talk to her at that time....but I couldn't....
I admitted that I do miss her la (not that kind of "love" or "like" type of miss)
Maybe she was with that "fella" that time....that's why I don't dare to speak with her....
or maybe she still loathes me for what I did before....weird...
Lastly...is you-know-who......
Last month, I've went back to a place where I acknowledged it as my third home...(1st Perak, 2nd Brunei)
But before that, a day before I went back, out-of-nowhere I bumped into her....(weird feelings again.....)
I went and talked to her...we talked like as if we are very very good friends or friends who haven't met for months....but in fact, we are "not"
Then after that, I went back with my bros.....and I said "I'M HOME K*****!!!"
Then we went yum cha....cc...chit chatting....peeping on girls XP.....
And I've never thought that one of my bro asked her out for bfast...
That really shocked me....I don't even know what to say....I was like "Hi" only...
I couldn't even open my mouth or move any parts of my body in front of her...
weird.....weird....here's the question....is it because that I still loves her, thats why I couldn't speak up......
Or.....Do I loathed her for what she did??......weird.......
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Is the time of the month again~~~XD
My God!!!
Is the freaking time of the month again!!
IM HAVING "PERIOD" PAIN!!
huh?? not reli period pain la (of coz la....guys can't have periods....if they do....oops XP)
I'm just having some serious stomachache these few days...
Damn FRIGGIN PAINFUL!!!
can anyone suggest any nice, fast and efficient medicine for me?? :p
Is the freaking time of the month again!!
IM HAVING "PERIOD" PAIN!!
huh?? not reli period pain la (of coz la....guys can't have periods....if they do....oops XP)
I'm just having some serious stomachache these few days...
Damn FRIGGIN PAINFUL!!!
can anyone suggest any nice, fast and efficient medicine for me?? :p
Monday, February 21, 2011
Happy Birthday!!
Sorry that I wasn't there for you because I can't adjust and squeeze out some free time for you
But I promise that I'll be there for you for the following year, the year after, the year after "the year"~~until NO END~~~
You have been a very very good and supportive dad.
You'll always take good care of us, giving us more allowance each week (Mom doesn't know)
You'll always be there for us whenever we faces troubles and obstacles
Although I seldom have a nice conversation with you, but I can still feel your love coming out from the words you said to us.....Thanks Dad....Thank God for allowing me to born in this family.
Being your son is the proudest thing that I'll ever had in my life
I'm grateful that I've had you as my father...I love you dad~~~(take good care, don't always work OT) ^^
I'll be there next year!! LOVE YOU DAD!!
Monday, February 14, 2011
funny but cute name~~^^
I've been in two relationships~~~and the 2 of them have few things in common:
Christian....Malaysian...related to TAR...Kampar...Girls (= =)....bla bla bla (many more)
But it is their name that makes me remember both of them the most...
BECAUSE THEY HAVE 2 REDUNDANT WORDS IN THEIR NAME~~~(is it right to say like tat??)
1st: ching2
2nd: wai2
XD~~~so next will be who leh?? wen wen?? lei lei?? miao miao (XD)~~~
Christian....Malaysian...related to TAR...Kampar...Girls (= =)....bla bla bla (many more)
But it is their name that makes me remember both of them the most...
BECAUSE THEY HAVE 2 REDUNDANT WORDS IN THEIR NAME~~~(is it right to say like tat??)
1st: ching2
2nd: wai2
XD~~~so next will be who leh?? wen wen?? lei lei?? miao miao (XD)~~~
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Happy Valentines to Myself
How many "again" have i been saying this to myself? sigh...can't remember...
For 22 long years, I have never ever celebrated this day with anyone in my life before...
At least I have friends with me during New Year, Chinese New Year, and of course, Christmas Day.
But just not during valentines because most of them have their own dates or partner...
I know there's a lot "me" out there suffering the same situation...but mine's different...
I didn't celebrate with Miss C, my 1st X during valentines day 2 years ago....
The same thing happen to me last year but with another one, Miss J...
sigh....special eh?? Both of them said the same thing to me..
"If we truly loved each other, everyday is valentine's day for us"
I've heard this a lot of time from them...sigh...I know it might not be something special for them...
But for me, I think is kinda special....Because most of the couples around the world celebrates Valentine's Day together....
Going out for dinner, Trip or vacation, Bla bla bla bla (cause i don't know much on how to others celebrate it)
Well, guess I'll be alone again this year's Valentines...maybe God wants me to be that way...You'll never know....
Hope next year will be better la....so HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO EVERYONE~~~
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
South Park Rules!!
"Retard fish goes on to make more retard babies. And then one day a retard baby fish crawls out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands and it had butt sex with a squirrel or something and made this retard-frog-squirrel. And then that had a retard baby which was a monkey-fish-frog. And then this monkey-fish-frog had butt sex with that monkey. And that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey, and that made you. So there you go. You're the retarded offspring of 5 monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel. Congratulations" South Park~~~
Monday, February 7, 2011
New Year, New Start~~
Two weeks in Ipoh really calmed me down a lot~~~especially after some advices given by my family~~
I really do enjoy the time being with my family~~~and love being with them especially during Chinese New Year...where you can chit-chat with other members of the family....drink with them...bla bla bla~~
I think it is a very good start for me after being so "down" for a very long time...
So....my resolutions for new year are!!!!......
1) lost 80% of the fats inside me...
2) develop a sexy and fit physique...
3) focus in my studies...
4) forget the past and look towards a brighter future and "chance"... ngek ngek
I really do enjoy the time being with my family~~~and love being with them especially during Chinese New Year...where you can chit-chat with other members of the family....drink with them...bla bla bla~~
I think it is a very good start for me after being so "down" for a very long time...
So....my resolutions for new year are!!!!......
1) lost 80% of the fats inside me...
2) develop a sexy and fit physique...
3) focus in my studies...
4) forget the past and look towards a brighter future and "chance"... ngek ngek
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Mom, Dad and "Son"
Dad have a "son" named BIBI.....not really his genetic son...but an adopted one...
Dad found "him" in a shop in Aquarium of KLCC....and "he" is very adorable and cute...
Mom and Dad went like "awwwwwwwww" because of "his" fluffy figure and innocent eyes...
They then decided to "adopt" him...and named "him" BIBI....
"He" is now 5 months old.....and is still growing well with "his" mom....
They used to played with "him" every single day and night....
Dad even made some video of "him" making some funny postures, dance, singings and more....
Besides that, they sometimes caught some really adorable photos of "him"
Dad found "him" in a shop in Aquarium of KLCC....and "he" is very adorable and cute...
Mom and Dad went like "awwwwwwwww" because of "his" fluffy figure and innocent eyes...
They then decided to "adopt" him...and named "him" BIBI....
"He" is now 5 months old.....and is still growing well with "his" mom....
They used to played with "him" every single day and night....
Dad even made some video of "him" making some funny postures, dance, singings and more....
Besides that, they sometimes caught some really adorable photos of "him"
"He" stole dad's coke!!
Cute in front of laptop
Nevertheless, "he" has been with them...through all the hard times and good times together....
Dad love "him" just as much as how Dad loves Mom..
But all this ended...because.....Mom and Dad "divorced"
No longer after that....BIBI is now with "his" Mom....leaving his Dad....
BIBI surely miss "his" dad so so much....But.....sigh
BIBI now has a new adopted or step-father who is now taking care of "him" together with Mom....
Dad misses BIBI so much......and Mom too......
The End....
what can i do?
What can you do when you still loves him/her??
and what can you do when you know that he/she still loves you?
Chances are there for this kind of situation....
But I can't seem to find it...
no matter how hard I try......she won't come back to me....
Even if we still loves each other......we can't be together...
I vowed to change...from the bottom of my heart....but then...is worthless....
I'm starting to feel that all my doings are worthless....it meant nothing at all.....
sigh....what can I do?
and what can you do when you know that he/she still loves you?
Chances are there for this kind of situation....
But I can't seem to find it...
no matter how hard I try......she won't come back to me....
Even if we still loves each other......we can't be together...
I vowed to change...from the bottom of my heart....but then...is worthless....
I'm starting to feel that all my doings are worthless....it meant nothing at all.....
sigh....what can I do?
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
I'm a BIG STONE
Now i know why.....
She said she had grew weary of this relationship....
She is tired of me.....getting bored....
I've eventually became a burden for her...
A huge burden that she had to take.....wherever she goes...
I'm sorry....
She said she had grew weary of this relationship....
She is tired of me.....getting bored....
I've eventually became a burden for her...
A huge burden that she had to take.....wherever she goes...
I'm sorry....
Monday, January 17, 2011
Swollen eyes
Man.....Today I woke up and found my eyes were swollen~~~
OMG!!! IT LOOKS HORRIBLE!! SUPER DUPER!!
I wanted to post the photo up here but i don't have the right memory card reader...LOL
Seriously, I've never saw my eyes gotten bloated like that before....
Since when the last time I have a bloated eyes....hmmmm....
I know!! Around a year ago....the same thing happened to me....
Sigh.......But seriously....Swollen eyes doesn't look cool at all.....
Man....Now i look like THIS!!
OMG!!! IT LOOKS HORRIBLE!! SUPER DUPER!!
I wanted to post the photo up here but i don't have the right memory card reader...LOL
Seriously, I've never saw my eyes gotten bloated like that before....
Since when the last time I have a bloated eyes....hmmmm....
I know!! Around a year ago....the same thing happened to me....
Sigh.......But seriously....Swollen eyes doesn't look cool at all.....
Man....Now i look like THIS!!
IT IS HORRIBLE!!! ARGH!!
(This picture is just for illustration purposes only. It doesn't resembles me. "V" peace)
My wish
Wish gives birth to hopes eh.....hoping that one day....wishes may come true...
but for some...wishes may not come true that easily....it comes with efforts...
I would like to make a wish here before anything happens to me....
I WISH THAT...I CAN BE WITH TAN W** W** FOREVER....UNTIL THE END OF MY LIFE...
This might be an impossible wish...but as you all know "impossible is nothing"
So i just have to keep faith and be optimistic....
It is very hard for me to let go of her....after all the things we've been through...
I'm very happy....to be able to know her...and love her with all of my heart....
I do admit that sometimes i didn't appreciate what she did for me...
and...she had done a lot for me....sacrifices....dedication....she has made my life more perfect...
But then.....people have this tendency to start appreciate things when they lose it....
The same goes to me....I never know how much value it has before i lose it....
I really don't want to lose her....I'm getting crazy....
I don't know what I'm going to do next.....before that...
I hope that my wish will come true...someday....
but for some...wishes may not come true that easily....it comes with efforts...
I would like to make a wish here before anything happens to me....
I WISH THAT...I CAN BE WITH TAN W** W** FOREVER....UNTIL THE END OF MY LIFE...
This might be an impossible wish...but as you all know "impossible is nothing"
So i just have to keep faith and be optimistic....
It is very hard for me to let go of her....after all the things we've been through...
I'm very happy....to be able to know her...and love her with all of my heart....
I do admit that sometimes i didn't appreciate what she did for me...
and...she had done a lot for me....sacrifices....dedication....she has made my life more perfect...
But then.....people have this tendency to start appreciate things when they lose it....
The same goes to me....I never know how much value it has before i lose it....
I really don't want to lose her....I'm getting crazy....
I don't know what I'm going to do next.....before that...
I hope that my wish will come true...someday....
I'm coming
The chance that you gave me.....I won't waste it...
I'm coming for you dudupid......I LOVE YOU oways n 4ever...
I'm coming for you dudupid......I LOVE YOU oways n 4ever...
Chance
"All humans deserve a second chance"
This is a very famous and prominent phrase that most people use to gain a second chance from someone...
and I, myself, also thinks that people deserve a second chance...no matter what they do...
But, sometimes, people don't really appreciate a second chance...
Most of them blew it up....and eventually asked for another one....over and over again....
I'm one of them i can said...
It happens a lot to me when I met my first lover.....
I admitted that i did a lot of shitty stuffs towards her..
I got angry and jealous easily...and she was mad every time i did these and wanted to broke up
So...I beg for chances and forgiveness from her...even i don't remember how many times i did it...LOL
Until one day.....even I sometimes can't bear with her attitude....so i chose to "broke up" with her.
Then i said to myself. "I shall change myself".
But shortly after i said that, I met her...(my angel)
We met in a gathering...we barely talk for the 1st time la...
We started talking (I 4gt when) and texting and calling each other...
I've started to fall for her when we went shopping together for the 1st time...
then bla bla bla....we got together for like a year before "crisis" happens...
I should have foreseen the "issue" before it became a "crisis" because I've dealt with it before...sigh
She was there complaining about my temper, immaturity and bla bla bla...
and when I think back....THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE...meaning...
I'VE MADE THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN...sigh
So, I've begged for a second chance...but guess what...I was rejected....coooolll
But then....she gave me a hint..."only time will tell whether we'll be together again or not"...
Then i thought again.....maybe this is a "second chance" for me to undo my wrongdoings...
I'm grateful that she gave me a 2nd chance indirectly...and I hope I'll make good use of it..
Now the other thing that I can do is just.....hope that she won't end up with another one....
This is a very famous and prominent phrase that most people use to gain a second chance from someone...
and I, myself, also thinks that people deserve a second chance...no matter what they do...
But, sometimes, people don't really appreciate a second chance...
Most of them blew it up....and eventually asked for another one....over and over again....
I'm one of them i can said...
It happens a lot to me when I met my first lover.....
I admitted that i did a lot of shitty stuffs towards her..
I got angry and jealous easily...and she was mad every time i did these and wanted to broke up
So...I beg for chances and forgiveness from her...even i don't remember how many times i did it...LOL
Until one day.....even I sometimes can't bear with her attitude....so i chose to "broke up" with her.
Then i said to myself. "I shall change myself".
But shortly after i said that, I met her...(my angel)
We met in a gathering...we barely talk for the 1st time la...
We started talking (I 4gt when) and texting and calling each other...
I've started to fall for her when we went shopping together for the 1st time...
then bla bla bla....we got together for like a year before "crisis" happens...
I should have foreseen the "issue" before it became a "crisis" because I've dealt with it before...sigh
She was there complaining about my temper, immaturity and bla bla bla...
and when I think back....THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE...meaning...
I'VE MADE THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN...sigh
So, I've begged for a second chance...but guess what...I was rejected....coooolll
But then....she gave me a hint..."only time will tell whether we'll be together again or not"...
Then i thought again.....maybe this is a "second chance" for me to undo my wrongdoings...
I'm grateful that she gave me a 2nd chance indirectly...and I hope I'll make good use of it..
Now the other thing that I can do is just.....hope that she won't end up with another one....
Sunday, January 16, 2011
I'll be waiting....
Today....what I'm going to do is just wait and observe.....
To see whether she'll contact me or not today...
To see whether this is worth a wait....
To see whether she is serious about it or not....
To see whether she is still in love with me or not...
To see whether she is the one...
I'll be waiting......
Update 1:
Time: Half day gone...(5.30pm)
Status: No messages...
Reason: busy with family or avoiding me (assume)
Conclusion: Keep on waiting...
Update 2:
Time: 7.34pm
Status: Still nothing...
Reason: Too busy in Ipoh or Kampar.....avoid me (assume)
Conclusion: Keep on waiting...
Update 3:
Time: 8.07pm
Status: replied my msg after i sent her 1....(very cold)
Reason: avoid me....don't wana bother about me....doesn't care about my existence (assume)
Conclusion: She is partially same as her.....but still...i shall wait until the end of the day
Update 4:
Time: 9.14pm
Status: chat on skype.....
Reason: unknown...
Conclusion: wait and see....
Final conclusion:....death??
To see whether she'll contact me or not today...
To see whether this is worth a wait....
To see whether she is serious about it or not....
To see whether she is still in love with me or not...
To see whether she is the one...
I'll be waiting......
Update 1:
Time: Half day gone...(5.30pm)
Status: No messages...
Reason: busy with family or avoiding me (assume)
Conclusion: Keep on waiting...
Update 2:
Time: 7.34pm
Status: Still nothing...
Reason: Too busy in Ipoh or Kampar.....avoid me (assume)
Conclusion: Keep on waiting...
Update 3:
Time: 8.07pm
Status: replied my msg after i sent her 1....(very cold)
Reason: avoid me....don't wana bother about me....doesn't care about my existence (assume)
Conclusion: She is partially same as her.....but still...i shall wait until the end of the day
Update 4:
Time: 9.14pm
Status: chat on skype.....
Reason: unknown...
Conclusion: wait and see....
Final conclusion:....death??
Saturday, January 15, 2011
To: Tan Wai Wai
This is suppose to be a blog but now I'm using it to write a letter to you...hope you'll see it.
Chun chun....To be honest
I am really happy to be with you for the past 1 year ++...
We've certainly been through some sweet, sour, bitter moments together...
and somehow I realized that we have changed for the past one year...
"You tou You Wei ma"....But I never thought that our end will come so early...I expected it to be longer...
The day when u said You wana break up with me.....there are a lot of things that came into my mind...
I asked myself, "Is it worth it?", "Might i get another one?", or "What the hell?"
It is certain that i Don't wana break up with you....cause I'm still in love with you....
I've became too attached to you that....I can't imagine my life without you...
I miss you every single seconds when we are separated...
Tears kept dripping....Hearts keeps hurting.....
I can't leave you behind and go find another woman......Because I love you so so much...
That i can't let go of my hands....
So....here....i hoped that you'll give me and yourself another chance to work this relationship up...
I want to be with you......I can't imagine my life without you....You've been a part of me....
I don't want to lose you......I LOVE YOU........T.T
Chun chun....To be honest
I am really happy to be with you for the past 1 year ++...
We've certainly been through some sweet, sour, bitter moments together...
and somehow I realized that we have changed for the past one year...
"You tou You Wei ma"....But I never thought that our end will come so early...I expected it to be longer...
The day when u said You wana break up with me.....there are a lot of things that came into my mind...
I asked myself, "Is it worth it?", "Might i get another one?", or "What the hell?"
It is certain that i Don't wana break up with you....cause I'm still in love with you....
I've became too attached to you that....I can't imagine my life without you...
I miss you every single seconds when we are separated...
Tears kept dripping....Hearts keeps hurting.....
I can't leave you behind and go find another woman......Because I love you so so much...
That i can't let go of my hands....
So....here....i hoped that you'll give me and yourself another chance to work this relationship up...
I want to be with you......I can't imagine my life without you....You've been a part of me....
I don't want to lose you......I LOVE YOU........T.T
My days without you
It has been 2 months since you've decided to leave me....
Days after that wasn't any better or happy for me....
Even until now, I'm still regretting on what I've done before....
If it is possible, I'm more than willing to sacrifice half of my life span in exchange for that moment where we used to be very happy and loving.
I'm very sorry for what I've done....and i really wish you'll give us a second chance to work things out....
I wanted to be with u again and forever....I miss You so so much...
I wanted to go through Valentine with you and everyday of my life...
I LOVE YOU....TAN W** W**...
Days after that wasn't any better or happy for me....
Even until now, I'm still regretting on what I've done before....
If it is possible, I'm more than willing to sacrifice half of my life span in exchange for that moment where we used to be very happy and loving.
I'm very sorry for what I've done....and i really wish you'll give us a second chance to work things out....
I wanted to be with u again and forever....I miss You so so much...
I wanted to go through Valentine with you and everyday of my life...
I LOVE YOU....TAN W** W**...
Saturday, January 1, 2011
SuperB Countdown!!
WOOOO!! 1ST TIME EVER I'VE CELEBRATED A COUNTDOWN WITH MY FRIENDS!!
GROUP 2!! THX WEH!!! BEST PALS 4EVER!!!
Group 2 Rocks 4ever weh!!
GROUP 2!! THX WEH!!! BEST PALS 4EVER!!!
GUess where is this place eh?? (familiar leh)
We are at Sunway Pyramid weh!!!
HAAGEN-DAZS~~~
MMmmmmm~~~~"FONDUE"~~
"faster take la...wana eat leh" XD
o.O!!
O.O!!
CRAP!!! MUAHAHA
Under aGE budak~~~
Group 2 Rocks 4ever weh!!
Group2 Group2 Second in NAME, Group2 Group2 First in ACHIEVEMENT
Hope next year we can be celebrate together ya~~~(SSL hao xiang bu zai le) XD
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